If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. But we started fighting more and more. I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again. So, we got married. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. To think about the kids. That showed up as a third factor." IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. Good luck. Support yourself. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. YOU GOT THIS! There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? It was very stressful. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. I wasn't happy. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. Good luck. Get a job and find a place to live. Does the father know? not the father, mother or child. but honestly did society really win? I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. Eventually though, it caught up to us. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. I was done. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. Learn more about. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). Ex My moving on process. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. 1.) Ex GIrlfriend blocked me out of the blue! NO PHYSICAL THINGS. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. form is an illusion. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. FTM. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. You've been clear with him from the start. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . My greatest concern is the child. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. That's when one of them dropped the term . He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. Rightfully so! We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. No need to waste time your life and time on him. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. Being in a lo. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! Long story short my ex dumped me. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! But men can still get baby fever. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. Where are you from? HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". Does anyone relate? He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. "We are. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. go and apologise. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. We've been together 9. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. To start? My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Does he still love me? And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! I tried to make myself love him. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . But kids are smarter than you think. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. 2. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. Good luck! You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? That's what we tackle in today's blog. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? No going back. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! Just that simple. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. Now it is tearing me apart. It will not update but downgrade yourself. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? I was in love with someone else. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. She's too far along to have an abortion.,. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. Cookie Notice Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. gals are expect dnt 4get. Privacy Policy. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. And, the combination of all of these factors can really take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. We literally virtually broke up the night before! Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? Have you told him you're pregnant yet? Life will not be easier staying with him. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. Hair. First step: Don't rush things. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! Does it feels good to fake your feelings? This is nuts. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported.