Arabic has some of the most colorful and seemingly untraceable ways to insult someone or something. Introverted does not mean antisocial. Write a pop song about my love for Marmite. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! Most people know how that feels. "Why do you have to be such a b*tch?" 30. A little jovial selfdeprecation robs a foe of thier ability to verbally spar. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. Today marks the anniversary of the day you dove into the world head-first! Avoid it. That was the day I decided you were my soulmate. And rather than suggest ways to have fun together, you decide to make sure they know how bored you are and how its their fault. 30. The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Patience is a virtue, but I dont want to wait. 35 Roblox and funny quotes ideas - Pinterest Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. Dont get bitter, just get better. Alyssa Edwards. Congrats! Your the reason god created the middle finger, You're entitled to your incorrect opinion, You should really take a trip to hell, and take your parents with you, if i was you ide donate myself to a thrift store because thats where cheep crap goess, sorry my internet is slow but atleast im happy its not as slow as your brain, Was you born on a highway? I love you with all my butt. "I hate that about you." 24. Your talking to me? Here are the 80+ best insults to destroy your enemies, or more importantly, your best friends. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong. 17. Your secrets are always safe with me. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. Best friends eat your lunch. When you feel a little doubtful about how a funny comment will be taken, be sure to use facial expressions (or emojis over text) to hint that you are joking. You know, when you leave the room. Because thats how I feel right now. Best friends eat your lunch. No, no. And while men generally build bulky muscle more readily than women, the testosterone responsible for that doesnt make them stronger where it really counts. Ill know youre my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die. Ill marry your brother just to be in your family. "You're in my way." 22. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. Hilarious Spanish Swear Words and Phrases That Will Get You Into Trouble Youre the type of person that uses their 3. See more ideas about funny quotes, sarcastic quotes, mean things to say. Send a pun-filled birthday message to my friend Anna. What is the funniest "toxic" thing someone has said to you? You should come with a warning label. Watch more comedic movies and TV shows to get a better grasp on funny cultural references. Ill never forget the first time we met. Too bad you cant photoshop your ugly personality, It looks like your hair made friends with the dust bunnies under my bed, Your parents got a great job offer at the disappointment club, Ur so fat even dora couldnt explore what was around u, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. Log in. Im lonely, not desperate. You see that door? Lets face it: life gets busy and oftentimes people forget to respond to text messages. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. And thats the best compliment I can give. I love what youve done with your hair. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. Let Me Buy You a Nice Cup of Get Over It.". I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. You bring everyone so much joy! This funny discord TTS message has got you covered to have a good laugh. Are you a loan? I decided to just say say, "Hey man, sorry had a rough week. A quirky joking message a few hours later can lighten the mood and remind them that they never responded. Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. Brains arent everything. This TikToker is a genius for engagement! A woman passing by remarks: If you were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift your hat to a lady. He replies: If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself., Whenever your ex says youll never find someone like me, the answer to that is: Thats the point.. So, we say something to put them in their place.. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. When everything in life is coming your way, youre probably in the wrong lane. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. 14. There are so many paths in life. No, the 3rd one down. There is no comeback you can give a toxic person that will shut them up or shame them into apologizing or make them look worse to your teammates than they already do. Advertisement. It looks like she went into Claires Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, Ill take it! Continue with Recommended Cookies. Using this line only exposes the mans powerlessness in the face of a woman who wont allow him to control, manipulate, or silence her. "You're being dramatic," or "Quit being emotional," "Why are you so difficult," "You make things so hard on me," "someone else has it worse, so stop crying." -VividTangerine. [wait for her to answer did what hurt?] When you fell from heaven. This is a lose-lose situation for me. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. My name is ____, but you can call me any time. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. Parts of speech. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Yeah? I just lost my grandfather. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Ya IQ is -77666888389393488484829299292929 and my baby brothers is 1, when people make fun of adopted kids "At least they where wanted", Your the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. After all, I am always kind to animals. If you were a booger, Id pick you first. I cant find them anywhere. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. I'm not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Im super excited for the new year. Hahahaha sorry, just thinking about how I used to date you. 90% of your beauty could be removed with a Kleenex. If someone never fails, it probably means theyre not doing enough. No wonder your mom has such a big mouth, you have one the size of a whole house. Ooooh someone call the cops because its got to be illegal to look that good. Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. Sorry, it must have washed off. 50 Hilarious Breakup Lines To End A Toxic Relationship Mirrors cant talk. Thats where most accidents happen. You are the human version of period cramps. Your responses are so fast I cant keep up. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. 21. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. I love that our easygoing friendship fits perfectly with my laziness. "What's it like to be a failure?" 21. If you like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes. Then why are you all up in my. I am returning your nose. "We're you born in a highway? 14 Fun Things to do in St. Louis in March - msn.com If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_11',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes: Dont hold yourself back from saying what youre thinking. Its scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. Well, it looks like you made it another year. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. Ever. There're many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. Friends buy you lunch. The word hate is so strong, it immediately creates a negatively-charged atmosphere, which is toxic to everyone in it. Men or women might use this expression to goad another man into doing something they want him to do, whether its in his best interests or not. MENU. Were you aware at the time of why you used them? Well yeah, it is your fault. Whichwaydid you come in? 12. Im sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. That is where most accidents happen. And they will carry on with this terrible behavior even when they're the ones in the wrong. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, For Good, 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists. 5. People clap when they see you. 15. Dont pretend your feeling of fullness after that chimichanga gives you the right to call yourself fat as an expression of solidarity, either. Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations? If Your Mom Ever Says These 19 Things, She Might Be Toxic - Bustle Hold still. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. How awful. Your brain is working overtime today. You should try it sometime. Toxic shock syndrome: Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a condition caused by bacterial toxins. This is an A and B conversation so C your way out of it! Not when you are around, but once you leave. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. Excuse me, did it hurt? "I'm disappointed in you." 25. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. Ive always thought air was free. You look so good I want to plant you and grow a whole field of yall. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Using emojis like , or to make sure your friends know that youre messing around. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Forget about the pastyou cant change it. Maybe we take some pleasure in finding a particularly apt insult for someone who has wronged us. If you were a vegetable, youd be a cutecumber. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Id let you have the last french fry. My heart was beating fast when I saw you walk in. It suggests that only a woman who is being adversely affected by her female hormones during a particularly hormonal time of the month would dare be otherwise than docile and agreeable. Im out of my mind be back in five minutes! Youve probably seen someone stop another persons talking by putting a hand up to their face, as if to say, Talk to the hand. Its a rude and dismissive way of saying, I dont care about what youre saying.. 11 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist - The Narcissistic Life No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. Hey, you have something on your chin. adjectives. When youre short on conversation starters or looking for an icebreaker, saying something out of left field can show that youre not afraid to be goofy and you dont take yourself too seriously. Engaging in the argument is not worth itit fixes nothing, it usually generates more toxicity from that person and it risks tilting your entire team. Dont feel bad. And according to every test the doctor runs, theres nothing clinically wrong.. 11. If youve experienced that yourself, you probably dont wish it on anyone else. I understand everything you said. If you stuffed your head with cotton, you would be smarter because right now, your brain is full of dead flies - oh, wait, you don't have one!